Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A So-So Existence

"You'll be happy, you just won't know it.” This is a line from the beginning of “She’s Having a Baby”. Jake is about to get married and asks his best friend, Davis, if he’ll be happy. That’s Davis’s response. For some reason that line always stuck with me. When I first heard it I thought it sounded sad, but I didn’t really understand it. Just one of those Hollywood lines we all wish we could throw out off the cuff. Somebody get me a writer to help script my life. That’ll fit in nicely with the life soundtrack that makes every moment in my life seem so much more dramatic. But about that quote, now I understand it, in some ways relate to it even. Life can get so hectic, full of have-tos, want-tos, and want-tos that become have-tos. So the point is, life can be going really good in general, but you’re not exactly walking around all the time with a big smile on your face like that goofy guy in the Enzyte commercials. When I was younger I pictured life as much more emotional, where you really live it and feel everything intensely. So you’d always know when you were in pain, or happy. But for me, life’s not a bunch of intense episodes strung together one after another, with every instant rich with emotion. Instead, life’s become a sometimes hectic but overall comfortable routine. I do plenty of things I enjoy, but rarely do I feel intense joy or, for that matter, sadness. How do I feel about it? It’s ok.