Friday, November 03, 2006

What's the worst thing you've ever done ? (Keep it clean)

How do you punish your kid for sneaking out at 3am and getting brought home by the police, knowing the things you did when you were that age? A brief list of my exploits:

  1. Snuck out in the middle of the night, found a convertible parked in a driveway with the top down, took the bags full of grass piled by the curb and dumped them into the car, then stuck a hose into the grass, turned it on, and left. I feel guilty about this one now.
  2. Same night – poured mud into the mail slot in several doors
  3. Stole a plant from Jack-in-the-Box
  4. Started drinking at age 15 on a semi-regular basis, haven’t stopped since
  5. Stole a bunch of construction sawhorses with the blinking light and put them in the front yard of a friend
  6. “Borrowed” a bunch of For Sale signs and posted them in the front yard of same friend
  7. Stole a bunch of pumpkins and tried to leave them impaled on the fence of same friend’s house, but his dad came out and threw one of the pumpkins at us as we ran and dove in the back of the getaway pickup truck, nailing one guy in the head (nice toss)
  8. Snuck into Six Flags after hours and stole a spelunker and several of the spelunker’s “pimp” hats, plus a Holiday in the Park sign to enhance the decoration in my dorm
  9. Took a garden gnome and “relocated” it several houses down; did this repeatedly over time as the gnome liked to travel
  10. Packed 10 people in a Volkswagen Bug to go haunted housin’. It took about a block and a half to stop the car.

I’d go on, but I hear sirens in the distance and I think I’ve said to much.


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